God bless your stupid souls

And I realize(while i was in the bus reading book after sending her home)that a certain group of people,from the thoughts of her talking about how others can condemn one person into a pithole of doom and shame. It’s really shameful to see these group of people. I’ve seen and experience first hand when i was in masjid darusallam *GO IDY* and everything change,when my uztaz condemn the whole group of the wrong teaching and brainwashing us to be closer to him. I was gladly saved though on never understood much about the problem as i wasn’t focus on it.

and me being a dj,a party go-er and drunk bastard half the time. I was condemn by a group of people saying im being a hypocrite for praying and such,and only few people knew my reasons and still accept me for who i am.i hate those groups of people. You take advantage of your religion,use it against the sinners and be proud of it? not everyone knows your shit.

I wouldn’t give a face to anyone like that unless they have a valid reason or a good proposal that convince me,like a friend of mine who used to be rebellious and now she is so pro active in islam,she goes well in debating about islam to me and i can agree onto her,for her reasoning and purpose of me doing something wrong is in fact true  Like one such reasons,she wants me to pray before i meet her,so that she wont be sinned for bringing me out without a reminder from god to know our duty well,I was and still awed by her words of explanation of life i wonder how she spend so much time drinking and going out develops her thoughts into our religion. And in fact social media is making it worst just maybe a girl wearing hijab is kissing another man or some shit like that and everyone agrees..UNLESS *she’s married yadiadaa* POSTIVE FEEDBACK WILL COME ALONG.especially among kids nowadays . THEY THINK THEY ARE FUCKING SMART. OH GOD IM  ROLLING MY EYES BACKWARD IT GOES BACK FOWARD AGAIN. 

on the brighter note.


"i promise to never leave you"

I’m breaking that promise now.

Oh. Sorry my dear,you left me dying when you kissed and dance another man.
im glad it came to this. I moved on.

6 months of loneliness.instilled in my mind.


"i fell in love. Such idiocy of me".

Just one night after having a good time after I did a live set with rob,we partied hard and let the crowd went wild with my set,though i hadn’t upload the set,(been dying to but need upgrade my soundcloud) i told myself halfway drunk. I would never love because love is a lie,a feeling that will never run through my heart like how it used to.

It was till,I found you.

"Is this love that i’m feeling?"

For so long, my heart felt the sink,melting gooey feeling,that sudden warmth,the *insert classical instrumental trumpet and bass noise the string thumping feeling orgasmic * and the *inset tommy trash song “sunrise” because the drops always make me fall for it over and over again (you gotta listen and give credits to his drops it makes me wanna cry i swear to god )*

And ever since you step foot into me. lll i want to do is dance and roll around ,Bring myself to the edge of the mountain and wear a I GOT A BAE shirt and everyone congratulating me for it and god bless me for my sins i’m sorry i love you god forever i believe in you till i die and face myself to the sun forever till i become a nigga be a charcoal for life coz coal is life. I would buy a phone just for fuck coz i got no phone life sucks without phone.

I can’t believe i was in tears when i only thought about you. I was afraid,I couldn’t be the one. I wished i hadn’t met you. I wish i could give up on all this. But the smiles and happiness i brought onto myself for i knew it was special. I had not ever been this happy. The happiness i loved.I yearned,begged for it to come back.In a whole new chapter it has brought.

QUOTE* remembered i used to say that “You are my happiness”. I finally for god bless knows how many months i finally let you go for last night. i felt peace,i felt no sadness,no burden,no hopele for you to run back to me after everything i had done to you, God bless you,may you be happy with your man. I FINALLY MOVED ON. YAY ME,NO MORE FACES OF YOU EVERYWHERE.

Back to topic. “Beauty comes with a price”
It sucks. everyone has a baggage, Yours were never worth meant to be. Maybe god gave you to learn from your mistake. god knows all but I never doubt,a reminder to myself.*HAVING DEJA VU  RIGHT NOW**PS LISTENING TO REMEMBER RIGHT NOW AND SINGING TO IT COZ IT SO GOOD* everyone sins has to be paid for a price. So do I<GEEZ I SUCK AT PAYING BILL I OWE SINGTEL $1000 HAHAHAHH FUCK MY LIFE> I dunno what god playing games with me neither do i know what gonna happen. but i expect 3 outcomes
1)Be together
2)I’m a rebound
3)You running back to him
That all i know. but i’m playing safe on 2 on 3, (URGHH TRUST ISSUES AMIRITE) i wish i can superglue my body into you or something god bless me all i wish for the answer.


My love,I will Love to be your happiness.