what similar in those 3 pictures? I was happy. My smile broad and never fail to show my teeth. I’m smile shy. Coz my teeth yellow and ugly. Yes it is. Im just very shy. Including somewhere (few people know). Moving to the real point I want to be at.
Yesterday,I was afraid. I’m going to be alone. And never happy again? Hahaha it weird. But maybe it’s just me. I rather be in a fight. Be in a fucked up moment, getting slap in the face,be jealous and wanna punch that guy who hangs out with her,and to hold the ones I dearly loved. But breaking up and moving on sucks. It hurts. And I’m back to be alone again. Being accompanied by nothing. And confession. I’ve told a lot of people. If I ever got into serious committed relationship. Get me out of it. they knew I’m happy.
But now. I still feel empty. Where’s the moment where I will listen to your songs with you. Humming to familiar tunes while I hold you behind your back. Kissing your cheeks or the back of your head. You turning your head and our lips connect. Knowing that is love just by those. To watch the sunset with you on the top of the roof that you are always afraid but you took up courage because I held you. To sleep on an empty field because it’s late and we have nowhere to go. Yes. To me. It’s memorable memories from the past two relationship.
But bitter ends for both.
“Kesyukuran,keikhlasan Dan kesabaran” those 3 words I always mean to you because you matter every time you felt like giving up. 5 Years of you keeping me. And I proved you wrong. You were the one I really believed to love. And a guy just took you away from me. You left me. I was shattered. But now every now and then I would see you and your friends. On good terms but every time I see you. My heart dies inside wishing it hadn’t end.
Then months passed by I met this young beautiful woman. You could say she look like Lana del rey I swear.we had a break up for a month because I gave up. Enough was enough. Too much possesive . both ends were being hurt. I couldn’t hold out any longer.lil did I know you had a one night stand with one of my bartender friend. Hahaha and then you left me for a Japanese guy? Talk about trust when I been giving you.”I promised I’m never gonna leave you.” You left me broken with my promises thrown in the bag.
And now. I’m just confused with this girl. I don’t know where we are going with this. It happened all too fast. History repeats itself again. All I know I’m ready for anything. Be it if she gonna walk away or stay. But if she ever does walk away. At least I hope I make her day everyday. Make her smile and be happy. Because to me. She’s my happiness. A happiness whom I know I don’t want to let it be washed away. And I will make it memorable. I know once she’s gone. All I will have is memories that I can cherish. A happiness that I will never let go. To me. That happiness is the only one I’m falling in love with.
"I’m in love with my happiness"